Friday, April 01, 2005

the english language...

Here is something interesting I received via email. I'm sure most of you have read it before and if not here goes.


Have you ever wondered why everyone has problems with the English language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
If writers write, why don't fingers fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite on a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up
As it burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes
English was invented by people not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course is not a race at all)
That's why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why when I wind up my watch,
It starts
But when I wind up this conversation,
It ends.

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