jokes...

Some funny stuff received via email. Enjoy...

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg does not find nuts.

When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am
not able to remember, what did I choose.

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
don't and stop, unless they are used together.

Panties not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on
earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try
Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy
with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing......

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone except you.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns
your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men
still sleep with their wives !!!